Today is the day of international Peace. I've tried to think about what I would say to you on this day. Where do you begin?
With all that's been going on in the world I've thought to myself, if my world was to come to an end would I have any regrets? My logical mind says none! My ego says there is so much I want to do. My ❤ knows the balance in this answer.
My life has been full of Yes'es. It's been full of adventure, it's been full of healing, it's been full of exploration of self. What I have found along this journey is a lot of love, respect, honor and compassion for my Self.
It didn't start this way. My life started with betrayal. It was followed with a lack of consistency, constant moving, no ability to lay down roots. It was followed with heart ache, loss, anger, disappointment, and trauma. I learned not to trust. I learned to build walls. Over time that burden became to hard to carry. So I made the time for healing. I chose yoga (well, to be honest, it chose me, but that's a different story) , but there are more than one way to step on this path. I opened my mind to people I thought that could help me find healing. Those people did not heal me but instead gave me the tools to heal myself.
Those tools helped me find my way inward. They allowed me to tear down walls. Which was not a pretty picture. There was a lot of confusion, a lot of pain as I faced horrors that I had not looked at in a long time (I wouldn't advise this without progressively help) . Things had to get ugly before they got better. The worst of it was that I felt so alone. Once I battled the 'alone' factor and realized that I really was never alone, that I was worth every minute of this work, the journey started to ease up.
This is where the tools I learned through yoga really helped me. I began to meditate. I read all of the self help books that called to me. Books such as The Tao of Pooh, The Dharma of Star Wars (great read if you like star wars), and the one that really touched my soul at the time was 'Bringing Yoga to life' by Donna Farhi. Since that moment the very delicate door had opened i have been filling my soul with the likes of Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Mahatma Gandhi, Don Miguel Ruiz, Thich Nhat Hahn, and so many other greats that are limited by time and space here on this blog.
The more I spent filling my free time with these writings, practicing what I had been learning the happier I became. I had found myself and more importantly, my purpose. I started hearing comments about how you could hear my laughs from miles away. I was known for my infectious smile. Suddenly I hadn't notice the change from when I was unhappy, anxious and full of anger. I was no longer the person I used to be. I realized that i really was Happy! I love myself! I no longer had any regrets. I was living a life full of purpose.
Please understand that though I am truly happy I am not dillousional. I have bad days. I feel depression on occasion. I get hurt. I am not perfect and I am not free from the more challenging sides of life. I do however choose not to live in those places for very long. I allow myself the experiences and move on from them.
You can have peace also. I hope this glimpse into my journey has given you some confidence to find peace for yourself. I don't recommend my way, as I am positive there are easier ways, such as counseling. Counseling can give you the space to navigate your feelings safely. With a good Counselor you can have support along your journey. By all means explore your purpose, find inspirational books and read them. Go with what calls to you. Learn to trust again. Doesn't that sound beautiful? Let me say it again. Learn to trust again.
Remember, YOU are strong, YOU are beautiful. YOU are worth it. Don't give up. Find a support team. Make the commitment. The world needs more people willing to be real, willing to love themselves. The world needs more people like YOU.